academicediting.com


Home

Main examples page

Biochemistry example

When he sent a draft of his dissertation proposal, the author asked me to make the text more concise.  In his original, he wrote:

History of Plant-Derived Antitumor Agents

    The development of molecular biology during the 1970s also helped to heighten the growing optimism that a cure for cancer was soon within reach.  This growing optimism over a cure for cancer, among other factors, seemed to work against the NCI's plant natural products approach as originally conceived in the early 1960s.  The perception that these efforts were yielding little in terms of novel anticancer agents became popular roughly twenty years after the inception of the USDA-NCI Plant Screening Program.  Due to this reason the Plant Screening Program was terminated in 1982.  During its life between 1960 and 1982, the Plant Screening Program evaluated over 114,000 plant-derived extracts from an estimated 35,000 plant samples.  Four years following its termination, the NCI implemented a new and revised natural products program in 1986.  The growing concern over HIV provided an additional impetus for the revitalization of the NCI's interest in the area of natural products.  One of the new features of this revised program was the awarding of contracts to government-independent organizations in order to collect samples.  A second feature of the new program was the employment of cell-lines representing a variety of solid tumor types.  The current status of the procurement and analysis of plant extracts at the NCI is a direct descendant of the revised program implemented in 1986.  Presently the NCI's Developmental Therapeutics Program (DTP) oversees the acquisition and collection of plant samples from throughout the world.  The DTP coordinates the collection of plant samples by awarding contracts with a variety of different organizations.

     Beginning with its efforts in the screening of plants for antitumor activity, the NCI has been either directly or indirectly involved in the screening of approximately 170,000 unique plant extracts.  These efforts have yielded an impressive array of anticancer drugs that are widely prescribed today.  Clearly the use of plants for the discovery of anticancer drugs is an important aspect of cancer research and will continue to provide useful information toward developing improved chemotherapeutics thereby improving the lives of those afflicted with this terrible disease.

My revision is shorter by 71 words.  I eliminated some of the more trivial details in order to emphasize the major themes of his research.
History of Plant-Derived Antitumor Agents

     Developments in the late 1970s boosted the already growing optimism that a cure for cancer was within reach.  Unfortunately, this growing optimism was one of several factors that worked against the NCI's plant and natural products approach.  Twenty years after the USDA-NCI Plant Screening Program was inaugurated, the dominant perception in the research community was that such efforts were yielding little in terms of novel anticancer agents.  The program was terminated in 1982, after evaluating over 114,000 plant-derived extracts from an estimated 35,000 plant samples.

     Four years later, the NCI started a new natural products program, based in part on growing concern over the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV).  The revised program supervised the awarding of contracts to government and independent organizations for the purpose of collecting samples; the new program also supported the use of cell lines representing a variety of solid tumor types.  Currently, the NCI's Developmental Therapeutics Program (DTP) oversees the acquisition and collection of plant samples from throughout the world; it has become the primary coordinator of plant samples, and it awards contracts to a variety of research organizations.

     Beginning with its initial efforts via the Cancer Chemotherapy National Service Center, the NCI has been either directly or indirectly involved in the screening of approximately 170,000 unique plant extracts for evidence of antitumor activity, resulting in an impressive array of anticancer drugs that are widely prescribed today.  It seems clear that the use of plants to develop these drugs will remain an important part of cancer research, and that the resulting chemotherapeutics will continue to improve the lives of cancer patients.


Home

Main examples page